a study in the phenomenology of t4t lesbianism (refrain)

ares finds new home in the twenty—two—gauge needle
injected intramuscularly every five—to— seven days
remaking me in her image
placed in the kiln of folk endocrinology

she holds my hands softly, as if to remind me
that my body is the weapon—
the promise of violence realized

and like all good weapons
i am not afraid of being used.

International Working Women’s Day

Good afternoon.

My name is Toast. I am the local coordinator of the International Women’s Alliance, an international grassroots coalition of anti-imperialist, anti-capitalist women’s groups spanning over six continents, as well as a member of Canada Philippines Solidarity Organization. We are united in the goal of liberating women from historical oppression and exploitation and in establishing an alternative system founded on genuine democracy, freedom, justice, equality and peace. 

Today, on International Working Women’s Day, we stand together to call for our governments, our countries to put women above profit, and women above war. We live in a time of historically unparalleled imperialism and neoliberalism; from the extraction of resources from the global south and the consolidation of capital within the western imperialist powers such as Canada and the United States, to the growing precarity of work and the expansion of part-time contract positions and gig work during the pandemic, the effects of these terrible twins are felt most deeply by the working class, especially working class women. 

Working women are oppressed twofold – once under capitalism, and then again under patriarchy. We are disproportionately affected by capitalist exploitation; women comprise of 58% of trafficked labour, and 99% of forced sex work. Women are expected to be the caretakers of the house and home, and much of “feminized” labour – like domestic work, childcare, and textiles, are treated as “lesser” trades and compensated less, despite the gruelling conditions. It is common for our clothes to be made by women in sweatshops paid less than a living wage, for our children to be taught by educators constantly facing cuts in funding by Doug Ford, for our sick to be cared for by nurses under constant duress, low pay, and unsafe working conditions. 

Undocumented women face even further challenges. From false promises made by illegal recruiters to threats of deportation, many undocumented women are afraid of speaking out against unsafe working conditions, exploitation and abuse. 60% of Filipinos affected by forced migration from economic reasons and labour trafficking are women, with the money that is remitted to the Philippines comprising 10% of their entire GDP. This is clearly seen in the 2019 case of the Mushroom Four – four women who came to Canada under false pretenses from an illegal labour staffing and immigration service, hoping for a better future and faced years of abuse while employed under the table as mushroom-farmers. Through organizing and struggle, they were able to win their legal case – today, Ate Marisol, one of the four, has finally gotten their legal paperwork to be a permanent resident in Canada. 

Working women in the imperial core are oppressed twofold, women in the global south are oppressed threefold; not only under capitalism and patriarchy, but under the legacy of colonialism and the current reality of imperialism today. Working and peasant women in the global south face the most egregious exploitation due to lack of development, unfair labour practices, and feudal patriarchy.

Western imperialist powers like Canada and the United States have a vested interest in keeping a military, economic and cultural hegemony across the world; through excessive military funding, weapons development, global alliances, sanctions and economic warfare, imperialist powers like the United States funnel resources such as lithium, rare earth metals and crops from the global south through neocolonialism and forced political destabilization. It is invested in the Israeli apartheid, the violent fascist government of the Philippines, in destabilizing governments in South America. With over 750 military bases and more military spending than the next ten countries combined, the United States dominates the world through both hard and soft power. 

The people who suffer the most under this are women. War destroys opportunities for economic development and the advancement of women’s rights and therefore has sweeping economic impacts on women and their families. In times of war it is often men who are forced to leave their families to “fight and defend” their homes – as a result women are left to take care of their families and support the local economy by filling in for absent men. 

Meanwhile, women grapple with the threat of sexual assault as a weapon of war. Rape and sexual assault are considered war crimes and a breach of international humanitarian law. We can look at the case of Jennifer Laude, a trans woman who was murdered by Lance Corporal Joseph Scott Pemberton of the US Marine Corps. Pemberton walks free because of the Visiting Forces Agreement, which allows US soldiers stationed in the Philippines to be tried under American military courts rather than local laws – essentially giving them legal impunity. Similarly, there have been hundreds, if not thousands of cases of women being trafficked or assaulted by military men stationed abroad who face no consequences for their actions. Historically, during WWII the Japanese’s imperial army used between 50,000-200,000 women and girls as sexual slaves, widely known as “Comfort Women”. Today, the US military authorizes and regulates the trafficking and prostitution of poor women and girls to American soldiers near their overseas military bases.

Women have been at the forefront of struggle against imperialism and neoliberalism, of struggle between the oppressed classes of the world and those who would exploit them. Because of this, women activists have faced oppression around the world for fighting for their rights. Recently, Obeth Montes, the IWA Asia Pacific Coordinator and member of Filipino grassroots women’s organization GABRIELA, faced continuous harassment and surveillance by suspected government agents, including being followed, watched, and harassed while in her home. Meanwhile, key members of GABRIELA Philippines, along with human rights watch Karapatan and the church-based Rural Missionaries of the Philippines, have faced judicial harassment, and repeatedly subjected to trumped-up charges and lengthy pre-trial arbitrary detention. We call for our allies and the international community to defend our sisters – if we are to make genuine social change, we must defend those who fight to defend us as well. 

As a trans woman of colour, it is clear to me that liberation for some is a false liberation – that we can never have victory without victory for all oppressed classes. The International Women’s Alliance stands with working class women across the world. We call for struggle against western imperialism, against the increased militarization worldwide! We call to end deregulation, to end forced migration, and for safe working conditions for all women! We have nothing to lose but our chains, we have the world to win. 

Down with imperialism and neoliberal policy! Oppose US militarism! Long live the working class of all countries! Long live working women’s struggle! Dare to struggle, dare to win!

untitled

it is snowing in april
and i am finding your hair in the sink

i used to brush it off your face
as you planted kisses on me
like queen anne’s lace
littering the side of the river

you used to laugh as i spat it out
swimming with my mouth wide open
as if i could catch a stream in my fists
and ask it to stay

i let it swirl down the drain
letting the rest of you return to sea

.

adonai does not speak my tongue
so i tried to find it between your lips
desperation settled into my bones
nestled like dust between old polaroids

i could spend months
with my eyes closed
my fingers wrapped tightly
around yours

when i awoke i still felt like
a stranger in my own skin
foreign to the touch

.

i was born to the credit august 1996
a century after the british
took the harbour and the island

one day i’ll return to her arms
welcomed by the watercress and minnows
as the airbag and seatbelt hold me tight

falling at a rate slower than 9.81m/s2
i have a hard time distinguishing
between being weightless
and drowning

the body is an apartment in chinatown

i’m not in love with the place, i tell her
a couple of south ontario winters will have that effect
the decades are starting to yellow the wallpaper
but it’s nice enough, it’ll do for now

i’ve got some good bones here
despite the couple dents in the wall
scratches i left from some bad nights
litter the halls like pictures from when we were kids

and we can thrift a couch, and maybe a rug
from the value village in roncy
throw on a fresh coat, clear out the cobwebs,
hang up some tattoos we got on a whim

it’s not much
but you can really make a home here

if you tried
you can really make a home here

for ml

you are four to eight pounds
of carbon and trace minerals
settled in the crevice of a
new england state
but you were an oak once
green tresses and branches
so wide you could hold anyone who’d ask
the world had been keeping score
scratching out a tally on your trunk
playing with fire too close to kindling
in the aftermath you left behind roots too deep for us to dig up

triptych to the dynamics of failure, 2nd ed.

in the mathematics of engineering
we call a problem overconstrained
when its parameters and boundaries
lead to no valid solutions


ex 1.
i am overconstrained
as a lesbian


the youngest son of
two chinese HK diaspora
with petit bourgeois aspirations
the last in line to “queer” expectations
of being productive and having a happy life


a failure of a trans woman
too amab to be taken seriously
with a penchant for drinking and cussing
and going 160 km/h
on the don valley parkway


“gender is fake” is a platitude
afforded by those who can
ignore the pre-existing conditions
of being a faggot


ex 2.
the distance between chicago and toronto
is 826.2 km
it takes 5.512 ms for a speck of light
to make a round trip

or in our case
udp packets encoded
with my words, sent with
all the love i could bear
to give to a single person
sent through fibre optic cable


was not enough to keep us tethered together
(a three-body problem is analytically unsolvable
—a two-body problem with divergent solutions
has other constraints on the matter)


ex 3.
serotonin reuptake
and the modelling of neurotransmitters
in rat brains is computationally expensive

but theory and praxis
are a powerful dialectic


i have [hereto] only interpreted my mind in various ways;
the point is to change it